Tips for Talking to Non-Intuitive Eaters
Written by Isabel Vasquez, RD, LDN
So, you’re on your intuitive eating journey. You’ve learned that diets don’t work, how harmful they can be, and all the proven benefits behind intuitive eating. (If you aren’t super familiar, read my first blog all about the basics of intuitive eating). However, you still encounter people who are not familiar with intuitive eating and are very much immersed in diet culture. Once you’ve learned about intuitive eating, hearing others’ conversations stepped in diet culture can feel overwhelming. You might want to teach these people what you’ve learned but don’t know where to begin or how to go about initiating the conversation. You may also feel triggered hearing someone on a new diet talk about how excited they are and how well the diet has worked for them so far (before they’ve hit the inevitable diet slump). Managing the incessant ring of diet culture around you can be one of the toughest things to do as you progress through your intuitive eating journey. Let’s talk about how you can address these situations to foster your own growth and also help share intuitive eating with others.
1. Talk to them about the benefits of intuitive eating.
While it would likely not be realistic to immediately have a multiple hours-long conversation through which you deeply explore all the issues behind diet culture and depths of intuitive eating, you could try giving a brief overview of the benefits of intuitive eating. Some key points to hit could be to explain that it is an evidence-based approach to eating that improves self-esteem, body image, health markers, and satisfaction with life. It takes the focus away from weight and instead, involves tuning into your own body’s unique needs. Tell them yo-yoing (weight fluctuations), a staple component of dieting, has worse health consequences than maintaining a higher weight. And if you’re willing, you can tell them how intuitive eating has worked for you! Vulnerability can breed connection, so if they’re someone you’re willing to open up with a bit, share your own experience and how you found intuitive eating. They may be able to connect with you through your story and open their mind to this approach.
2. Focus on planting the seed.
It’s not your job to change someone else’s behaviors or mindset, but you can plant the seed in their mind that exposes them to another approach. Living in America, it is easy to be super entrenched in diet culture. It’s all around us. So you likely won’t be able to single handedly change someone’s mentality on diets. Take that pressure off yourself, while also feeling empowered in that you can be the one to plant the seed. Even if someone meets your comments with defensiveness, they may reflect on what you said later on. Your words may be the spark that encourages them to do some research of their own or realize the stress and disappointment diets have caused them thus far.
Exercise empathy in that it is not easy to immediately change one’s framework from being steeped in diet culture to embracing this radically different approach. Even though intuitive eating is proven to be very beneficial, we have to realize that not everyone will have an easy time embracing it. It is a paradigm shift from what we’ve been taught by society about how our relationships with eating and our bodies should be.
3. Direct them to resources.
When planting the seed, especially if they seem somewhat open to what you’re saying, direct them to resources where they can learn more on their own. Direct them to this blog. Direct them to IG accounts to follow (like mine and Dalina’s). Direct them to podcasts (a few of my faves are Break the Diet Cycle, co-hosted by Dalina, Food Heaven, and iWeigh). These are all ways that give them the freedom to explore intuitive eating and an anti-diet approach at their own pace, when they’re ready. By providing places they can go for info, you’re making it easier for them to begin exploring this approach.
4. Take care of yourself.
Being surrounded by diet culture comments can be draining. Investing in educating others’ on these topics that are so contrary to what society has taught us can be equally draining. If you feel this is harming your own progress, give yourself permission to take a step back. Set boundaries around diet talk, unfollow social media accounts that perpetuate diet culture, don’t partake in a group if diet culture talk is pervasive. You have to stay true to your journey in order to be able to effectively help and educate others. Allow yourself to take a step back if need be and return refreshed when you’re ready.
