What Role Do Boundaries Play in Ditching Diets?
Written by Isabel Vasquez, RD, LDN
When you’re beginning to ditch the diet mentality and embrace a non-diet approach to nutrition, putting some boundaries in place is often a critical part of the process. They can help prevent unwanted comments about food or your body that can be irritating at best and triggering or hurtful at worst.
Keep reading to learn what boundaries are, why they’re important when it comes to ditching diets, and how to set them.
What Are Boundaries?
According to Merriam-Webster, a boundary is, “something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent”.
So, in this context, a boundary could put a limit on how much diet talk or weight talk you are willing to listen to, whether or not you’re willing to be weighed at the doctor’s office, and more.
Boundaries can be scary, especially if you’re not a confrontational person. You may worry about how the other person will react or you may feel guilty about setting a boundary in the first place.
However, here are three important things to keep in mind when setting boundaries:
1) You cannot control someone’s else’s reaction.
2) Their reaction is not fully your responsibility.
3) Setting boundaries is an important form of self-care!
What Role Do Boundaries Really Play In Ditching Diets?
They serve as protection in your food freedom journey
Putting boundaries in place helps you to maintain a safe space for yourself as you navigate your food freedom journey.
Especially at the beginning of your journey, you may feel unsteady. That diet voice in your head may still be loud, and it may be more tempting to go back to the false sense of comfort diets provide.
So boundaries are key. They help curate a safe space for you as you start to eat intuitively and learn to ditch the diet mentality.
They help you grow in your relationship to others
By setting boundaries around weight-centric dialogue, you can open the door to fostering greater connections with others by letting people into that part of your life.
Maybe you can even be the one to plant the seed to get someone else interested in intuitive eating.
Plus, vulnerability often leads to greater connection. So opening up to others about your journey and explaining the reason you need these boundaries may help strengthen those relationships.
They help you grow in your relationship to yourself
As mentioned above, setting boundaries is a form of self care. You are showing yourself that you deserve to be protected and you deserve to have safe spaces. You are worthy of respect and of having your needs met. Your needs matter.
Setting boundaries at doctors’ visits is a prime example of showing yourself respect. It could look like declining to be weighed and explaining that you don’t want to discuss your weight during your visit.
By doing this, you are advocating for what you know you need and deserve, which means you are putting your needs first and showing yourself and others you deserve quality care.
Examples of How to Set Boundaries
Boundaries to Set With Your Partner
Here are some examples of boundaries you may want to set with your partner or people you live with:
Being open and honest about your journey and asking that you no longer have diet products in the house
Requesting that food labels like “good” and “bad” or “healthy” and “unhealthy” not be used when you’re eating meals together
Placing limits on how much you feel comfortable receiving comments on your body
Boundaries to Set With Your Friends and Family
Some boundaries you can consider setting with your friends and family are:
Respectfully asking that your weight not be discussed or that they not speak about diets
Informing them about intuitive eating and asking if they have any questions about it (to shift the conversation away from diets)
Asking that they not comment on how much food you’re eating
Declining invites to get together with them if the weight-centricity is harming you in your journey, especially after you have attempted to set boundaries that haven’t been honored
Boundaries to Set With Your Healthcare Providers
You can also set boundaries with healthcare providers. Some people may feel safer doing this than others, as the privilege differential can be a barrier. If you feel comfortable, here are some boundaries to consider:
Declining to be weighed
Requesting your weight not be discussed during your visit
Declining to take a weight-loss medication that isn’t medically necessary
Requesting a thorough discussion of the risks of a procedure or medication so you can give true informed consent
Boundaries to Set on Social Media
It’s no secret that social media can cause or exacerbate body image issues and disordered eating behaviors. Some social media boundaries to set include:
Curating your feed on social media to be weight-inclusive, show diverse bodies, and be free from accounts steeped in diet culture
Muting or unfollowing accounts that perpetuate diet culture or weight stigma
Setting a limit on how much time you spend on social media
Final Thoughts
Boundaries can be tough to set, but they’re an important part of making peace with food and your body. They’re an amazing form of self-care and they can help you feel more secure in your relationships. So, consider areas of your life where setting boundaries could be beneficial, and practice doing so using some of the examples above.
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