Why Ditching Diets Means Breaking Up With Perfectionism
Written by Isabel Vasquez RD, LDN
You’d probably have a tough time finding someone with no perfectionistic tendencies, but you might not think of how these tendencies can impact your eating habits.
Perfectionism is greatly tied to diet culture, and it often manifests as being extremely self-critical and having an intense fear of failure.
According to a 2017 study by the American Psychological Association, perfectionistic tendencies are on the rise.
While some aspects of perfectionism, such as being detail-oriented or driven to overcome adversity, may be helpful in certain settings, perfectionism often becomes detrimental to your well-being.
It’s often driven by a fear of failure, insecurity, low self-esteem, and trauma. It involves all-or-nothing thoughts and a focus on avoiding failure.
Sound familiar? Dieting involves the same all-or-nothing thinking and fear of failure plus the resulting shame if you can’t “stick with the diet”.
Perfectionism and Diet Culture
Many people have adopted very extreme thoughts when it comes to food (e.g. avoiding anything “processed” and fearing food with any chemicals).
You may think you have to micromanage your weight and food intake and lose sight of the bigger picture of what impacts health (eating consistently, eating a variety of foods, engaging in joyful movement, reducing stress, practicing good sleep hygiene, staying hydrated, etc.).
Social media has undoubtedly contributed to the rise in perfectionism. We see bodies idealized on social media that are edited and carefully posed. We constantly see people’s highlight reels instead of the ups and downs of real life.
We inevitably compare ourselves to what we see online. We strive for an unrealistic ideal and hyperfocus on what are considered to be “imperfections”, but are really just normal body features, such as cellulite, wrinkles, or fat. Our bodies become constant self-improvement projects and mediums for our perfectionism to run wild.
This is a prime example of how perfectionism can be rooted in insecurity and self-doubt. Dieting is often related.
So many people start diets because they feel unworthy or have low self-esteem and think dieting and losing weight will increase their confidence.
Perfectionism Uniquely Impacts BIPOC
Furthermore, for marginalized communities, these feelings of unworthiness are constantly reinforced by society. Perfectionism is very common in BIPOC communities as we strive for perfection to blend in with the white majority.
Yet, perfectionism is inherently tied to white supremacy, and BIPOC folks often feel this burden greatly, as Janelle Raymundo explains in her 2021 paper titled, “The Burden of Excellence: A Critical Race Theory Analysis of Perfectionism in Black Students”.
Shifting Away from Perfectionism and Diet Culture
Ditching diets entails a big shift away from all-or-nothing thinking. Instead, you learn to embrace the gray area.
As you allow yourself to break free from a rigid eating plan and instead, start to connect with your taste preferences and bodily sensations, it isn’t so black-and-white anymore. The goal, after all, is to learn what best serves your unique body.
It’s a continual learning process where challenges are embraced as learning experiences, not failures. You commit to showing yourself compassion throughout your journey and know that there’s no such thing as perfection anyway.
For example, eating more cake than felt satisfying is not labeled as a failure, but a learning opportunity. You can show yourself compassion because you learn to reframe your thoughts around certain foods being “bad” and get to the root of what you wanted from dieting (maybe confidence, acceptance, self-love).
Ultimately, the experience becomes a neutral one instead of being heaped with judgment. You can reflect on what might have caused that behavior and learn for next time. And sometimes, it means that you can simply accept that it happened and move on without dwelling on it too much.
We are ever-evolving individuals, and ditching diets allows us to adapt our eating and activity as our environments, stages of life, health status, and priorities shift. We learn that our eating does not have to be micromanaged to support us in living abundant lives.
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