Melissa Landry 0:02
Welcome. Hi there. We are experts in intuitive eating for on again off again chronic dieters, and we are here to help you take the guilt and stress out of eating so you can become the first in your family to break the diet cycle, just like we are in our families.
Dalina Soto 0:19
We want you to be who you are without food guilt.
Melissa Landry 0:22
Be sure to follow us on Instagram. No more guilt for Melissa and your Latina nutritionist for Dalina. Are you ready? Let's break the diet cycle.
Dalina Soto 0:32
Hola Chula. It's me the Dalina. Before we start, I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by your Latina nutritionist. What you're about to listen to is not a professional coaching or counseling session. Each episode is a one time conversation meant for educational purposes. We are dietitians but we're not your dietician. Remember that podcasts don't constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your dying behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional and if you're looking for a community tools to ditch the diet help with finding authentic health and keeping your culture alive join my membership brought to you by today's sponsor me
Hola Hola Melissa,
Melissa Landry 1:23
Hey, good to see What up bro.
Dalina Soto 1:25
Y'all Melissa is like super like, like really afraid for this episode because I forgot to write an outline. And she's like, meticulously, always on time. And like everything is tasked and like checklist and I'm just like, wait a minute,
Melissa Landry 1:42
You know, you know when they say like, we got to get the talent under control. This is my dynamic. Like, I got to get my talent under control. She's not she's not here with her list of bullet points today.
Dalina Soto 1:52
I'm not prepared with no bullet points today. We're just gonna
Melissa Landry 1:55
All right, all right. I just want to make sure that the people you know, get what they came for. But I think we can do this.
Dalina Soto 2:00
They are because we we always talk about this stuff. You know, we don't have to have a bulleted
Melissa Landry 2:05
What we're talking about today. Why don't you let them know cuz it's the new year.
Dalina Soto 2:09
da we're talking about like, how are we gonna start this new year without dieting? Like, how are we gonna do this?
Melissa Landry 2:15
What was the statistic that we were talking about? We were saying? Let me read it believe me. Well, I read something that fit Yes. And of people. Yeah, choose weight loss as a New Year's resolution. And I felt like that was a low number. Yeah,I think so too. Or like some sort of nutrition goal. 30% seems low. Because Have you ever met like literally Have you ever met someone in person that has told you that they did not put some term nutrition or weight loss goal on their New Year's resolutions? I've never met a personal like, it's rare. It's rare, or like eat better or move? Derivative of Yeah, weight loss stuff. super common.
Dalina Soto 2:52
So I would say I would venture to say like 95%
Melissa Landry 2:56
It's not a valid it's just a fact check. But no, we didn't look this up. No, we're gonna feel it feels like that for last year, because we were full blown in the penicillin pandemic going on the panorama panorama. And I was sitting there watching the ball drop, because we just had a quiet couch moment. And every freaking ad was new and weightwatchers it was like back to back to back. Ping ponging. And I'm like, This is insane. So it's like reinforced by this. So
Dalina Soto 3:25
wait a second. Hold on a minute. Yeah, What channel do you I mean, I watch the Spanish channel. So I don't think are there y'all are there any commercials on the Spanish show? Marshals? No, there is no talk about like, watching the ball drop. I don't think I've ever noticed commercials.
I don't know maybe because you're like at a party or something like this was straight up watching the till. But last year, the last year, it was just the four of us. We did it got resumed the family for the Fall draw. I don't remember. But I don't ever remember ads. But you do. Because you're like on top of that. I was angry. You know, but you know, I don't pay attention. oblivious to the world. Like, if you ever get hit by a car, you wouldn't be able to like describe it. I'm like, no. What is happening at any given time? Yeah, no, it was it's a lot. And I think that that's if you are paying attention. If you're hyper vigilant like I am. You're gonna see it, you're gonna see it. And so we didn't want to talk about it this year. Because I think a lot of times people are like, I don't want to continue this cycle. I know that this is a cycle that I'm in every year is a good time to break it.
So yep, yep, yep. Yep. And I think that we also wanted to talk about something that I learned about don't know from where I can't remember where I learned this from, but I looked it up this I did come prepare with because I'm ready to teach Melissa something that's about to blow her mind and yours. So somewhere along the lines of my career, and somewhere along the lines of doing all of this work. I heard something about a Blue Monday, and this is a marketing term that wasn't vented for telling you stuff on the day where you are at your worst, and they created a formula to figure out what day that is. And I'm about to tell you what it is. Are you right at some madman, Don Draper? Sneaky? Well, I don't watch Mad Men, but a lot of feedback show. That's Inception style marketing. Okay, yes. Okay, whatever that means it is okay. That's what it is. Let me give you a little background on this. So basically, in 2005 someone by the name of Dr. Cliff Arno came up with a formula for the combination of ready for this bad weather dept from being in the middle of two paydays time since Christmas, failed New Year's resolutions, and general low motivation, proving that the third Monday in January was the worst day of the year. AKA, Blue Monday, though he came up with this formula. And even though this article states that it's a scientifically ridiculous, it was created to promote things that are supposed to make you feel better. What did that sound like? Melissa?
Melissa Landry 6:22
Oh, boy, that sounds like a little tee up for some diet culture right there. Yeah. No little underhand toss.
Dalina Soto 6:31
You know, so they go full blown on that third Monday, because they know that you're at your lowest and who wouldn't want to feel better? Wait, what I want to transform their life when I want to want to be the best person they can be?
Melissa Landry 6:45
I'm looking at the calendar. It's January 17. This year. Whoa, be ready. Oh, this is airing on January the third. So that means at the time of this playing in your ears? Mm hmm. Two weeks from now? Yeah. They're expecting you to bet your lowest. Alright, well, guess what? Delina Melissa here, and we're gonna, you're gonna come into this little bubble. And we're gonna talk about how to prove these mofos wrong. They're not good. That's right here. And if it happens to be the worst day of your year, you know what we're gonna you're gonna be in that together.
Dalina Soto 7:19
Together, we're gonna sit together. And we're gonna stop think reframe. Beautiful with that.
Melissa Landry 7:25
I love that. I love it. So, yeah, it's wild out here. So New Year's is a major trigger. Oh, the diet culture advertisement universe is conspiring to get us excited and make a decision towards dieting. What are some things we can do? Like? How do you? How do you protect yourself?
Dalina Soto 7:46
Well, I really think that it's important to ground yourself. And really, you know, something that recently a Chola in the club did, which I thought was like, so amazing. Like, after a call, like we were doing group coaching, and I was like, I want you to write down what health means to you. She reminds me a lot of you, Melissa, then she posted the next day, a full picture of her list. signed her the list. Yeah, I did. I didn't list. The list was long. And I was like, Look at you, girl, you really dove into this. But I really think that it's important for all of us to ground ourselves. And the new year has a lot of meaning. For a lot of us, it is a new beginning, right, in a sense, is starting a whole new year after the panorama. And you know, feeling like the end of this pandemic is coming, it could feel very liberating to just like, sit down and really plan and set goals for 2022. But what I want you to think about is the fact that a lot of the goals that we're told to do, are usually meant to backfire on us so that we feel crappy, and we continue to, like, buy such product or like, you know, we talk about you talk about new Milan, right? Like, their goal is never to teach you everything right? Their goal is to kind of like keep you on the hook so that you continue right to want to need them or to need them. Right. And so I think it's important for us to stay away from setting goals like that and really think about like setting intentions and like, what is your intention for 2022? Like, what do you want to feel? Like, what do you want to do with your body and your life? Right? Like, what do you want to do that's radical and different? You know, that's not what you've been writing down for the last 20 years and your New Year's resolution, like let's get radical. Yeah, and but we have to sit in a lot of this and like a lot of the discomfort that comes up and a lot of the suckiness of all of it and and really start to detangle where a lot of these feelings are coming from and create actual intentions that we can actually do in you know, 2022 You know, because saying that You're gonna lose 20 pounds?Yeah. Yeah, I've been trying to do that for how long?
Melissa Landry 10:06
It's an auto repeat goal. Yeah. And I feel like what a lot of people are doing when they find food freedom is, is figure out what their values are like, is your value to do what you think you should all the time, even though in your heart? No, you know, and you have known for a lot of clients, it's been since they were kids that this method is not going to lead to weight loss or peace, it's going to lead to feelings of chaos, and you're going to not be able to socialize fully, and you're gonna feel guilty all the time. Nobody says like, my values are disciplined for the sake of it. Nobody wants that, you know? So getting clear on like, Okay, what do I care about? What are my values important to me? And then what intentions would would link to those values so that like, when you say the word grounding, like, that's what I hear is like, how do we link it to who you are, who you really are what you really care about? So that's a great exercise to like, yeah, values,what are the things that could express those values?
Dalina Soto 11:10
Yeah. And, again, I think that it feels so scary to walk away from these, like, I don't know what the word is that that I want to use about these goals, but a lot of them are very often not achievable. Right. But I think that we have been conditioned to save like to do these goals, right, like, I'm going to travel more. Okay, well, let's be intentional about that goal, like, What do you mean, when you say I want to travel more, right? Or I want to be healthier? Okay. Well, what does it mean, when you say, I want to be healthier? Like, what is it that you're truly trying to achieve? Right? And maybe instead of saying, I want to travel more, you just say I want to travel to this place by this time, right, so that it's more tangible, right, as dietitians we learn SMART goals.
Melissa Landry 12:00
Yep. And I think, well, before we go into smart goals, I also want to go back and say, like, what sometimes when we say like, oh, I want to be healthy, I want to travel more. It's helpful to be like, Why, yes, like that. Sometimes the words we're saying is, it's a label, or a path to get what we really want. So for example, with health all the time, they say, Well, what would it mean to be healthy, people are really saying is that they want to feel free, they want to feel respected, they want to feel safe and secure, they want to feel energized. Maybe it's all of the above, maybe there's a specific word that really links to you. So when you bring it back down to the core of why you want to travel, why do you want to do it? Well, I'm bored, and I need some novelty, or I am cold, and I would like some warmth. Yeah, travel is one way to get those things expressed. And so you quote, fail at the goal, you have a way of saying, well, that's alright. Because what I really want is this value. And can I have a learning mindset to experiment and build on that rather than like, must travel must do must be so rigid around our goals. And it might shock some of you that I have this point of view. But we have to be able to be flexible when the goals aren't met. Because the point isn't to do the goal. The point is to live the value. So yeah, ask yourself why you want to do it. And see what comes up. Exactly. Okay.
Dalina Soto 13:27
Yeah, so smart goals. They are see look at my notes most What do you remember? Whispering they told you so and guess what? I think Marco Do you remember? I don't remember what the S is but M is measurable. But we'll tell them what the SS okay, what's Yes. Specific do specific measurable the A sometimes changes but attainable. Car relevant, relevant and timely. That was a to pause this video of you just look at me like a teacher
Melissa Landry 14:10
was going on? I again, I like smart goals because it helps people to break things down smaller and like, like you're saying you're really you're a fan of realisticness it helps you to feel more motivated. But if the goal is quote, I'm not gonna say wrong. It's misaligned with you. It doesn't matter how smart you made the damn goal. We can make guess what weight loss does like weight loss is like let's make a SMART goal about on x 100. Calorie breakfast. Yeah, but at the end of the day, if that Breakfast isn't satisfying, it's not giving you enough nourishment. I don't care how much popular psychology you put on the damn problem. You're going to rebel? Yeah, I love hate with smart goals because I think they can
Dalina Soto 14:57
be I know. Of course I could. And then and then I think it's, it's, it's, again, what we talked about, I think you and I always talk about the nuance and like the balance and the middle ground. And I know that you and I have talked this, I don't know if we've said this on the podcast, but like I hate even sometimes using the word balance of mindfulness, because it's been co opted. So she has been co opted by diet culture. And every word, it's like, Yo, we, honestly, sometimes I'm just like, I just feel live. Yeah. And I think that, again, it's all about the intention behind it if you're going to use a SMART goal, or even your intention to again, restrict and income from a place where it's very diety that's not going to work. But you can still, again, utilize that SMART goal. And even find like that balance, or that mindfulness and all of it and it does not have to come from diet culture. Honestly, it's all about the intention that you have behind it. Is your intention to feel good to be comfortable in your body to feel energized? Or is your intention still subconsciously, to shrink yourself? Because that's what it comes down to?
Melissa Landry 16:12
Yeah, yeah. And that's where like, eating a salad can be the diet behavior, or it can be an intuitive eating behavior. They're not exactly right or wrong. eat a salad. It depends on that attention. So exactly. Yeah, I think part of this work is, is developing the skill of knowing these are all motivational tools that we all need motivation. All of us do. That's not bad or wrong thing about you, that you want motivation, our motivation, gosh, sometimes. That's hard. It's hard. And we're all humans. And so these are just tools you get to pick and I think what comes to mind, sometimes with New Year's is like, Okay, here's my chance to reset. It's what I have to reset. And actually, you can reset any time. It's sort of like permission to eat foods, like, oh my god, I have to eat these chocolate chip cookies, because they're here right now. Well, yeah, you can eat them now. You can also get them tomorrow, the next week, the weekend that so there's a lot of generalization from the intuitive eating skills that I think can apply here where you don't have to force yourself to like revamp your life. Just because January one we could do that in March. If you want.
Dalina Soto 17:22
Your you're gonna be living all the time. Life is always happening. It's like laundry baby. You know, you can do it today. Tomorrow, it's up to you. It's gonna pile up again. Talk about laundry. It's like content warning. We're talking about piled up laundry. Oh, gosh, I'm triggered. I'm like, Oh my god. It's so bad. I have to do Oh, I know.
Melissa Landry 17:46
I know. Lucy doesn't work clothes as a four legged dog. But yeah, okay. Yeah. So we're talking about intentions, when to use goal setting when to not? Yeah, what else do you think's helpful around this time of year to protect against repeating the diet cycle?
Dalina Soto 18:06
I think it's important to find your people. I know we say this all the time. But it's like, do you have you know, a group of friends or a community something to be able to lean on when, you know, diet culture is like, again, like on that Blue Monday throwing everything at us like sometimes. And I think it's really hard for us to accept this as humans, like, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to vent and talk about it. Like sometimes we just want to say it like sometimes you don't need to have somebody respond or anything but like having you know, your people that you're able to do that with, I think it's important. setting yourself up for that is important as as, especially this time of the year comes around, because after it's worked all year long, but I feel like this is where it's like at the forefront of everything. Everything is diet culture at this part of the year, like you can't get away from it. So having a support system is super important because trying to do this alone is frickin hard.
Melissa Landry 19:09
And being in your own head is frickin hard. I had a client the other day in one of my small groups where she was like I was struggling with something and she was like debaters which they put her on the board or not Yeah. With all time like in the program like using our word. She she wrote this really message summarize nice message. She summarize what was going on with her and like, afterwards, she even just the act of writing it down. No, and someone was going to witness that and see it helped her to clarify her thinking, Yeah, points of view. And some people were just like, been there and that is going to so yeah, finding your people is important because we're all trying to create a new habit here. Like a new way of thinking you can't do that if you're just reinforcing the old way of thinking 24/7 It just won't happen spontaneously like that. No, no light switch. And we need people we do Do do you like approach New Year's like that? Like, it's my reset? I'm gonna make goals? Or do you just kind of float in and keep living? How you always do?
Dalina Soto 20:08
No, my life is always I've never, never once you just yelled at me for not having my list together, you think I'm gonna make one for two years? I have a little, little last words I understand.
Melissa Landry 20:27
I don't think I set resolutions, but I definitely get me some Christmas journals. And I definitely get a little bit like, like, I bought this one. And you put all your value words in for the year. And then from there, you can like create goals. I find it helpful. Sometimes I'm getting down, you know, like, I can be like, Oh, God, I didn't do what I'm supposed to this year, having that reflection looking back and be like, Oh, my gosh, this is what you said you wanted to do. And you're doing it like, yeah, sometimes it helps my my brain to remember, it's all good.
Dalina Soto 20:59
I mean, do I want to? Yes. Do I ever get to it? No.
Melissa Landry 21:05
Well, it sounds like it's not your jam, like you're not my jam, you are more like if it's if it's broke, I fix that kind of person. And that's okay. I think that that's fine.
Dalina Soto 21:16
I think for me, the holidays, and this time of the year, what has always and will always be about family. And so I have never felt the need to have to change. But that comes from a very privileged place, right, which we've talked about in previous episodes. But honestly, besides like getting an internship or like passing the rd exam, or like something along those lines, like I don't, I don't think I've physically like, like, maybe I need to be hypnotized or something I truly don't remember ever.
Melissa Landry 21:49
It means you're satisfied with it. That's a good thing. I mean, honestly, like I'm exploring this whole relationship with goal setting in myself, because I think when I started the business, it was like a way that I could motivate myself into doing things. But once things are stable, and things are okay, like you just got to learn to be and that's the other reason why have finding your people is so helpful. If you're transitioning like in dieting. There's a part of dieting, especially for goal setters hands raise where it feels good. Like, I have a plan to get my water bottle, but it feels exciting. Yeah, you're not going to do that anymore. You need to pass the time nicely. You need to figure out how you're going to bring challenge into your world that doesn't involve that. So I'm right there with you. Those people who are transitioning off the goal, treadmill into a more like, Okay, how do I be? But yeah, like challenge and excitement in my life?
Dalina Soto 22:39
I'll let you know when I figure it out. That's a question. Yeah, man. That's all the thing none of us have figured out. We're just here to help. Like, our job is to help reflect Yeah, to help talk it out to give you some tools, but like, none of us have it all figured out. That's okay. None of us well, because that's part of being a human.
Melissa Landry 22:58
Well, I'm excited for our upcoming episodes. We're gonna do a deep dive on noom next week. So I'm excited to share that we're gonna keep supporting you all the way through to this this Blue Monday, I think on the Senate, wing and let it get you mark your calendar, folks, plan something, get yourself an ice cream sundae. Get yourself whatever makes you happy. That's what you're going to do on the seventh on that Monday. You're going to be happy you're not going to let those blues get you. Like we feel like we're going to the protesters. Well we'll figure something out. Like I feel like we need to like get that anti Blue Monday protest there's two there's two people protesting Dalina and Melissa That's it.
No, dear. Well, I'm back recording with you and miss doing this.
Dalina Soto 23:44
This was fun. I look we went did it it worked out. I maybe I'm sold on it but probably not know it's we're not gonna do I know that I need to put on a show here. I'm gonna come prepared next. Alright, y'all. Well, this was today's episode, we'd love a review from you wherever you found this podcast so that we can help more women like you looking to heal their relationship with food bind our show.
Melissa Landry 24:14
It's been really exciting to watch the audience grow ever since we started. And so if you're finding value in this, maybe tell a friend about our podcasts. And that's how I usually find new podcasts. So we'd appreciate you sharing us with the people you care about help us spread the message to break the diet cycle. Until next time, we'll see you on instant just like we found each other thanks for being here with us and being who you are peace Love and break the diet cycle.
