Melissa Landry 0:04
Hi there, we are experts in intuitive eating for on again off again chronic dieters, and we are here to help you take the guilt and stress out of eating so you can become the first in your family to break the diet cycle, just like we are in our families. We want you to be who you are without food guilt. Be sure to follow us on Instagram. No more guilt for Melissa and your Latina nutritionist for Dalina Are you ready? Let’s break the diet cycle.
Dalina Soto 0:32
Hola Chulas. It’s still enough or value that actually I’m practicing this everyone. I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by your Latina nutrition with Delina that’s me. What you are about to listen to is not a professional coaching or counseling session. Each episode is a one time conversation and is meant for educational purposes. We are dietici ans but we are not your dietitian. Remember that podcasts don’t constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your dieting behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional. And if you’re ready to eat without guilt and enjoy cultural foods apply for a coaching program from today’s sponsor, me. I’m currently enrolling clients into my one on one programs, programs. And I’m also offering a self paced course for diet culture disruptors apply for the program that fits your needs at your Latina nutrition.com. All right, everyone, we are here we are ready and we have already loving to I don’t know why it took so long to discuss this particular barrier to freedom. I mean, we love this topic. We talked about this all the time. And if you can see my face, right now on camera, I’m crying laughing already.
Okay, well tell them what it is. Let’s just
okay, but we’re gonna be talking about 90s trends, and how we have this idea of like keeping or wanting to fit into our high school jeans, but we’re gonna make it fun, right, we’re going to talk about these crazy ass trends that I personally never want to come back. They felt so hashtag relevant at the time. Like at the time, it was a smart move to participate in this and any body image trauma you felt also felt very valid. And I’m hoping that this helps people to be like, whatever the trends are now, it truly is. It’s gonna pass. You said 90s Oh, but I want to be clear that we, you were in high school in the early 2000s. Correct. You’re right. But I sometimes for the 90s into 2000s. For sure. Yes, I was definitely in high school in the 2000s. But you’re right. But I like love 90s music so I feel like I was Yeah, yeah, that was like childhood. Yeah, we’re more teen years in the 2000s. Yeah, we’re going to like 2002. And I know most of our listeners are in this age bracket. There’s some of you who are a bit younger and a bit older. So you might like the younger kids, by the way. FYI, all the things you think you created are from our generation.
It’s from us. We did it first.
Melissa Landry 3:18
And the maybe older generations. Ma ybe your kids went through this, or nieces and nephews went through this. So anyways, I hope this is entertaining for all of us and gets us thinking before we jump in Can I surprise you with something? Oh, yeah. Oh my god. I am I’m sharing my screen right now. And I’m showing you I list that I found the Internet of nostalgic fashion trends from the early 2000s. And I want you to see if you can remember if you participated in these things or not. Okay, okay. Lizzie McGuire for sure. The first one is frosted lip gloss. Were you a frosty lip girl? Extra was it shimmery finish? Is there I remember there was like a brand was like ice. It was called ice lips. I don’t remember the brand. But I’m sure a girl are learning it and your hair sticking to it. You know these curls? Oh my god. Yes, whatever. That’s straight here. We get caught in your lip and your crushes looking at you and you’re like,
Dalina Soto 4:17
like they get it apart. Okay, so you did? I did. Okay, this one’s a good one.
Melissa Landry 4:24
Especially von Dutch hats.
Dalina Soto 4:27
Yeah, no, that was not me. Right? Because like I had curly hair. And the I didn’t look good at it.
Melissa Landry 4:32
No friends said, I just honestly never really loved the style, which is why I surprise myself. When we went to Arizona last month. I needed a hat. And I was in Rei, that store like the hiking store, whatever. And there was this hat. I really like the colors. It happened to be a trucker hat and I bought a trucker hat as a 34 year old woman. And I wore it so okay, that’s right. So I think that’s good. It worked well. Um, so I’m sorry trucker hats that I judged. Before very functional breathable in the back, when we learn we live and we learn that mesh and then like the boys will leave the stickers on the trigger trigger hat just so it’s mid condition you know, that’s like the ball.
Dalina Soto 5:11
Okay, so y’all know I grew up in Philly. I grew up in a very diverse area. So I wasn’t seeing Vaughn dot What is it Vonda on Dutch we were seeing like, like lids like those like really nice. You know, we had looked at them all this,
Melissa Landry 5:28
this hat with the fingers, which always left the sticker on it is of course gonna look cool. Alright, we’re going to talk about low rise jeans. I don’t want to go there just yet. But this was an interesting trend the lace of jeans like they would be like a corset yo on your front parts and your back parts and that is very we were young. We were practically children. Of course it’s on your friends and backs. Also, you know if you do have any fat on your body, which is normal. It’s not a fun feeling to have lace. Listen.
Dalina Soto 6:00
Okay,
Melissa Landry 6:01
here’s an old jeans with no back pockets. Remember that trend?
Dalina Soto 6:05
Yes, I do.
But dazzle pockets. Yeah.
Melissa Landry 6:10
Oh my god. You should see this picture.
Dalina Soto 6:12
Mandy’s around you it was Mandy’s your thing. It was a thing here Mandy’s what was it get all my It was a store and you’d get your jeans at Mandy’s he would get your jeans
Melissa Landry 6:21
Did they have the most dazzling going on?
Dalina Soto 6:23
They have like the only jeans that would fit me so that’s what my mom taught me that’s where you want to do see now we’re at the trend where you there were words across the but the Lord jumpsuit juicy across the bus. I couldn’t afford this unless I was at TJ Maxx and they had some like ill fitting version of it. I would beg my mother can I please have and you know fortunately I did take place in that. Alright, that way I like that one go back. Which one of my friends were those? The airbrush shirt?
I know 1111 Well, they’re this one that I like like the Gaucho yoga pants. I never I never wore that but both of them actually those ones I loved and they would put them mark
Melissa Landry 7:04
this exact outfit. Okay, we need to put this in the show notes. We’re going to send with the actions upgrade every with the link to this article and show notes if you want to scroll through and be laughing at what we used to do back in the day. Baby tees How about our regular size t? Why are we trying to I feel like did I post something like this on my stories? I was definitely wearing a little baby. Baby Doll t cardigans up until like my mid 20s cardigans were my favorite thing. I would compare it against over everything. Because I feel like I still I mean that’s a classic. I don’t know why they’re trying to freeze this one in time. Rugby shirts. This one that was a me. I didn’t have a lot of rugby shirts. But the one that I did have was very treasured to me like I felt like this was my special cool shirt and I was gonna wear the special cool shirt. But you’re right for the chest. Your gown. Wasn’t that my chesticles? I had a lot of issue with this as well. I was um, yeah, I know. I know what your tires are. For new lm Dell. Yes. bless their hearts.
Dalina Soto 8:06
Yeah.
Melissa Landry 8:06
So this comes to the near end of the list. We just kind of picked and chose some of them here. But what a memory lane. But a little memory lane. That was you had prepared some thoughts though on like, how this sticks around in your mind. Like we’re kind of laughing and joking and like looking back at some of the different things but what were your thoughts coming into this episode and how we can get past it?
Dalina Soto 8:26
Yeah, so I think that something that I always hear as a goal, right? It’s I always asked the question of like, what are your goals while you’re working with me? Like what are your nutritional goals? Like what are your overarching goals in your journey? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the statement. I want to fit into my high school jeans. Yeah. Why don’t I so that’s my first question. That’s like a 20 something year old pair of jeans. Like why do you still have them? And we were growing in high school like, we we were children. We were children and we cannot expect and our lives were completely different. Yeah, it’s to me it’s just such a scary idea that this is such a societal thing that everybody wants to be back into that childhood and as you think you know, this Melissa but like I’ve been I’ve been reading a lot and I see a lot of posts about like purity culture, policy ism and this idea of keeping women pure and like young and small, small and like it gives me the creeps. It gives me the creep the think about like this origin art. Yeah, like that. It is an origin of all of this. This idea of always keeping you think T and young and a chocolate. Like that’s what men like from me, right?
Melissa Landry 9:54
also like the racist origins of this that voluptuousness, and those types of features were actively devalued in society because of how they linked to other races, body types, like it is very icky. When we think about I had a client and you actually say j should remind yourself that that was like a little, like a little racist and patriarchal to think that way and helped her to go, you know, maybe maybe we can move on from that thought, because she did value those things. But yeah, it is like it comes from some achy origins, we think about why we want to look like little girls never know, like a little girl. I don’t. I like my hips. They don’t lie, which was not that was a hit from the time we were wearing thin trucker hats and rugby shirts. I was trying to shake them like Shakira, you don’t even want to do this. But when I was in high school, we used to play field hockey, and we would be on the bus together. And I used to entertain everyone on the bus by you doing my Shakira impression. And I need to do that. Okay, I’m gonna try it’s been a really like I said, I wouldn’t, but I will. Alright, I really embarrass everyone. I swear to God, I didn’t know you were gonna say your hips Don’t lie. But now that you did, okay, this review, this might get edited out. We’ll see how it goes.
Dalina Soto 11:16
Yeah, we include a clip of this.
Melissa Landry 11:18
This is not what they came for today, but they came for this calmness. Okay. You’re welcome. Shakira has left the room. I don’t know how she broke into her call like that, how weird anywho but the values for being small. If you don’t take a step back and you start chasing them 100 miles an hour by what? restricting beating yourself for how you ain’t really feeling inadequate, that you’re not in those little tiny jeans. Laughing cuz you’re dabbing and tear up your I’m crying. Anyway, it’s it’s not healthy to stay stuck in that value set?
Dalina Soto 11:59
Well, our bodies aren’t stagnant. I think that that’s one of my favorite things to say our bodies are meant to grow. They’re meant to evolve. And you’re always going to change your body will change through the years through the decades through your life. And you know what? I think that what pisses me off the most about society and magazines and like the media, and just everything that puts these pictures up, is that they blow these things out of proportion, right? The celebrities that fit into their like, post pictures of them like, you know, I think the last one I saw was like Jessica Simpson fitting into her Daisy Duke jeans from when she did that movie. And she was like, so proud of herself. And like, Jessica, you were still with Nicholas Shay. A long time ago. That was like the first reality shows like that was really what a time to be alive. What a time to watch her eat. Speaking of the fee.
Ya happy Google?
Sweet Jessica.
Oh my god.
Like there’s such like, oh, like just obsession with it. And then I saw another thing about Vera Wang and how she’s like, 73 of her skin is like pulled back. And like, not just like not was going to say stressful, but not a wrinkle in sight. And like she posed in like a bikini and they were like, just wanting this idea that she’s like, has the magical answer to the fountain of youth because he’s gonna have wrinkles. Yeah, like, like, it’s such a bad thing to have wrinkles and gray hair and skin that sides that’s part of getting older. So beautiful.
Melissa Landry 13:46
At this point, we are entering middle age, we are not old, we’re not young, either, you know, and I think you might start to notice some changes in your body, you might start to notice a few wrinkles. I found my very first gray hairs, where your Where’s your fat settling or distributing differently? You might be softer in places you weren’t before? And I think the big question is like, when you see all this stuff in the media media, it makes it seem like the only way to age is by fighting it. The only way to age is by preventing it and changing it. And we see all of those that type of language. And what I’m trying to challenge myself to do at this moment in my life is like, how do I want to age like, how do I want to let that happen in a way where I feel like myself still?
Dalina Soto 14:36
I don’t know.
Melissa Landry 14:37
Maybe that’s not a helpful question to be asking. But for me, it’s like I don’t want to be someone who’s fighting that change because it’s it’s inevitable. It’s part of being alive.
Dalina Soto 14:47
And I think that it’s because right, it goes back to what we said earlier that women are supposed to stay pure and young and perfect for men because it always goes back to the patriarchy. Right, and then the racism, but we need to reevaluate really how we see aging? And I think, you know, yeah, like, we’re hitting, we’re hitting the age where we’re getting bombarded with like Botox, and I don’t have any problem with people that get it. But like, I’m just thinking, like, is that something that I would want to do? I really don’t think so. Right. Right. I don’t know. I’m not gonna knock it either. Because, yeah, it that’s the thing, it is your choice.
Melissa Landry 15:28
But I think a lot of people listen to this podcast are kind of dealing with symptoms of fighting their bodies, right? That’s, that’s really what food guilt and body shame is, it’s symptoms of fighting your body as symptoms of fighting who you are. And, you know, is thinking about these first four episodes we’re doing before we jump into the series are really about the different types of norms that we’ve learned in our lives. You know, we’ve talked so far about like, what did your mother teach you? What did culture you know, your individual culture, what in past nutrition messages teach you? Those are all norms, that if we’re not careful, they become our norm. And they may or may not be your norm. So there’s no judgment on the nor the shoes, but like, know where they came from man.
Dalina Soto 16:12
And know that you don’t have to impose your norms on to other people, right? The LFA that that’s one of the biggest things that you and I both talk about, like body autonomy is real. And you get to choose what you do and do not do with your body. But don’t make others feel less than if they don’t choose the same thing that you do. Right, which is I think what we see a lot in our culture like the superiority they say that right? Hope so. of like, I did this and I bettered myself. No, you should Oh, yeah.
Melissa Landry 16:43
Yeah. Come a distributor a Botox. I mean, I feel that way, sometimes in my friend circles, and like, my friends are awesome. I love them. Yeah. When we’re together, and someone says, like, a comment even about their skin or their body, or like, Oh, I think I might get Botox. Yeah, even though I’m so far in, in my values, and I have such I think I, you know, I have good skills and developing confidence, that there’s still that moment where I’m like, they’re gonna do this stuff, and I might not, I’m gonna have to be different. And like, yeah, that’s a tough feeling. I just want acknowledge like, it’s a tough feeling to feel like you’re the different one. Even if you’re not all that different. I don’t know.
Dalina Soto 17:19
I think we also need to bring compassion and have that safe space to say that if it’s something that you do choose to do, you’re also no wrong or right. Like, there’s plenty of people I know that have done, I’m more afraid of the need to acupuncture. Yes, she’s a very neoliberal I have not yet done it knows. You know, Melissa knows how afraid I am of the needles. But I mean, I think you’re old. But I think that what we need to really think about here is that this, this idea of being afraid, aid, right, because I think that that’s what it all comes to like, I think people feel like if they can just fit into those high school jeans, that somehow magically they’ll stop aging, and they’ll go back to that use or feel like how it used to feel. Yeah, how they used to, but we are not going the amount of hormones we had running through.
Melissa Landry 18:14
Did you remember how it felt? I was Yeah, all over the place. emotionally. Often, I found a diary entry from age 16. And I was like, Oh, boy. Oh, like, we had a lot of feelings going on right here. And I’m not sure what’s happening. Yeah, no. And I guess that’s a really interesting kind of riff on this is like, okay, maybe fitting in those jeans means you might feel like you felt back then. And can you? Can you verbalize that there’s a lot that goes on. And coaching is like, well, what is that feeling? And how can we construct that in today’s world with today’s values in today’s body, like it’s not all lost, because your jeans don’t fit?
Dalina Soto 18:53
Let’s get creative. So let’s, let’s think about the comfort maybe that you start with those jeans and maybe find jeans that also make you feel good and comfortable. Maybe you liked how your butt looked in those jeans, go find yourself. You can hold space for what was and what is you can always hold space for both. I love that that made me feel good all the time.
Melissa Landry 19:16
It’s hard to remember hard to in the moment. And especially if you’re in a group of friends or you just kind of happen around social media around messages that tell you the opposite. Remember, especially marketing like that’s our job to keep whacking you have these messages with enough repetition that you do some Yeah. Okay, well, it’s kind of a little tangent, but you know, we go here we go high to low, deep to superficial, real quick, giggling about Vonda chats one second and being like, what’s it all about the next? The next, you know, anything?
Dalina Soto 19:45
I also wanted to kind of discuss this idea of how scary it was at that age to grow. Right? Do you remember like your body growing and Gary that was then sure when you’re the fourth grade was seca Yeah, that was that was fun.
You had a C cup in the fourth grade.
Melissa Landry 20:04
They weren’t quite that big that fast. But they got pretty big pretty fast. And oh, yeah, no, that was a that was a thing.
Dalina Soto 20:10
Yeah, mine hit me like a bag of bricks in like the summer before ninth grade. They all they came in all at once. And I was like, What is happening? But just yesterday was our it was Yeah, yeah. There’s this show. I think I’ve told you before you have to, oh, I can’t get I get I can’t get past the grown people acting like kids. I told you that it’s hysterical. Anyone who has watched this show, please DM me. And let’s talk about the very, very funny funny funny things that go on in that show. But continue. Yeah. So I think that we want to hold space for that as well. Like, remember how you felt then that’s probably how you feel now about your body changing and growing. And you got through it. You got past it? great analogy. Yeah. So I think that that’s something that I often think about, like, I remember growing out of nowhere, right? Like getting the cups out of nowhere, and having stretch marks for the first time and being like, what did I do wrong? Like what? Like, what did I do that my body decided to just like, grow in three months. And now I have these things. And they don’t look like what the magazine? Rain they should look like? Or maybe even the girl next to me? hasn’t started yet. Yeah, you know, and I remember like getting spectrums on my size, and all my calves. And like, I literally was so embarrassed to wear shorts in high school because I have stretch marks on my calves. Yeah. And I got over it a little bit.
Melissa Landry 21:45
But this is something you talk about a lot. Like it feels like you know, we all have these things where maybe there was some shame or embarrassment about that in our teen years. And that doesn’t totally go away without practicing it away. So that might mean like ignoring the thought it might mean restructuring the thought it might mean developing new values and new normalizing new ways of being but Gosh, like if those stupid mother daughter body nights or whatever you had to go to like FYI, your periods coming? Like what if those included? Like talk about like, this is normal? This is normal. This is normal, like, have different types of experiences you have that aren’t quote, the media norms. I don’t know that would be so helpful for kids. I say that. But if I ran that kind of night, I feel like every teenager, but like who is this doorway? That’s crazy. Like she’s like giggling laughing at her own joke. Show me pictures of stretch marks get out of your. I don’t think we wouldn’t have liked that back then. But it it wish I wish it was more normalized. You know?
Dalina Soto 22:44
Yeah, we have a guy who has a book called, we have a book that I’ve read a few times and nyla it’s about body part. It’s about her body. It’s about like the body. And it teaches you like the different parts. Now of course, it can’t remember, but it teaches the male part and the female parts. And of course, you know, we know that it’s, you know, what this book was written like, I don’t know how long ago and we know that some of that stuff is arbitrary. Now, you know, not always had to identify it that way and have these parts but I read it to her she’s like, it’s so fun because she’s like six and she’s like niggly issues.
Melissa Landry 23:20
I these are weird, you know,
Dalina Soto 23:22
she’s like in the book. And like, I can’t tell you how uncomfortable I feel what we’re reading this because it talks about how babies are made. It doesn’t talk about sex itself, but it talks about the sperm and egg meeting up and then like babies. And so when I read her and she’s like, You pushed me out of what, like a lot of us are still grappling with that reality. We need to make these conversations normal, right, so that they normalize. And I and one thing that I do like about this book is that they’re not like, they’re they look like real bodies.
Melissa Landry 23:57
Like, yeah, it’s a little more implicit. Like, it’s just like these. Yeah, that’s, that’s true, too. It’s like, making it implicit. And we talked in other episodes about putting all different types of bodies in your eyeline. Yeah, you can help normalize that for sure.
Dalina Soto 24:11
I like that book. And I also like the book anti racist baby, because that also has a lot of different types of bodies. Yeah. So that’s a good one. But yeah, I mean, all that to say that, like, we need to normalize different bodies, it is changing. And we don’t have to always control we have this obsession of controlling our bodies and, and make it so that it stays the same forever.
Melissa Landry 24:34
And that almost always backfires. Like, very rarely does the body like being handled that way. I’m just hopeful that this episode help people to think a little bit about like, Are my values around what I’m supposed to look like stuck a little bit in the early 2000s. If yes, that’s okay. It makes sense. That’s when a lot of them were formed. Like that’s when you started to become hyper aware. What if you made a little update right now? If you let go of some of the stuff that’s not working for you today, yes.
Dalina Soto 25:05
And, you know, just bring yourself back. And and like I said earlier, remember that you can hold space for both what you were and what you are, and create those new values right as as we move forward, and we’re gonna continue to age. And we’re going to continue to change. Yeah, and the more that we get comfortable with that now, in our almost middle aged box, that’s also weird, the easier it’ll become and I just want to put out a service announcement that I never want the damn thongs and little better jeans to come back.
Melissa Landry 25:39
That was a look. Usually they were neon thongs up above the hip bone. This is TMI, but I have never been and never will be a thong person. I just really don’t I hate though. I like me some like comfortable granting that is I love me the highest high waisted full coverage. Oh, yeah. That’s what I’m working on. If I’m comfortable that’s the most likely moment I’m gonna feel sexy if I am not comfortable. Yet joke’s on you. Amazing what my mom beans I kind of want to after this episode, like try to find some pics from high school and like just lol at some of my outfits and fashion choices. I also went through like an emo phase where I like wanted to look to punk but my you know my personality. I’m a highly bubbly person. I always have been and I’m like, people like you were a poser. Like what is Yeah, you could not be punk. You cannot. I got a little edge. Come on, man like deepens you dye your hair black god no, Nancy would never. My mom would not have allowed that. Heck no. Like, no, no, no, no, no. Well, this is definitely one of those things that can hold people back from really doing the food work because of fears. Yeah, we just have a fear of weight gain. But I think there’s also like fear of aging, fear of not being quote, attractive. Like
Dalina Soto 27:07
there’s little little
Melissa Landry 27:08
ripples and nuances of the fear of change of your body, that 100% can block these IE or intuitive eating skills from happening. So make sure you’re thinking about this before we do the series. And hopefully there’ll be a little less resistance as we jump in. Yeah. Yeah.
Dalina Soto 27:23
That was today’s episode. And you know, we love, love, love, love. If you left us a review wherever you found us. This is how other people find us. And so we want to make sure that we’re helping as many people as we can heal their relationship with food and find our show.
Melissa Landry 27:41
And I don’t want to regret being vulnerable and sharing my Shakira impression. If it made it if it wasn’t, if you’re hearing this, you didn’t hear your question. I got I got scared it got edited. If you do hear this, it means it went through. And I will not allow her to get scared. You all deserve to hear this. You might put in the comments great secure impression, because maybe people are coming for that. I don’t know, any which way we want to thank you for helping us spread our message for being here for you know, letting us talk about this in different ways that hopefully are interesting and make you giggle a little as we do this deep work. Thanks for being here with us and being who you are. Do you love and break the diet cycle.
