Melissa Landry 00:04
Hi there, we are experts in intuitive eating for on again off again chronic dieters, and we are here to help you take the guilt and stress out of eating so you can become the first in your family to break the diet cycle, just like we are in our families. We want you to be who you are without food guilt. Be sure to follow us on Instagram. No more guilt for Melissa and your Latina nutritionist for dalina Are you ready? Let’s break the diet cycle.
Dalina Soto 00:32
On our two lovers. It’s Dalina, I’m practicing this everyone. I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by your Latina nutrition with Melina that’s me. What you are about to listen to is not a professional coaching or counseling session. Each episode is a one time conversation and is meant for educational purposes. We are dieticians but we are not your dietitian. Remember that podcasts don’t constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your dieting behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional. And if you’re ready to eat without guilt, and enjoy cultural foods apply for a coaching program from today’s sponsor me. I’m currently enrolling clients into my one on one programs, programs. And I’m also offering a self paced course for diet culture disruptors apply for the program that fits your needs at your Latina nutrition.com. Alright to last we are here. This is our first frickin episode. And we are so so so excited, I should say first episode of this season that we’ve been around for a while now because we’ve been here for a while now. Yeah. And like we mentioned, we are going to be here to discuss the intuitive eating series, right? And today, we really want to focus on why the heck is it so frickin hard to become an intuitive eater.
Melissa Landry 02:10
It is hard. And it’s harder because I think people are like, it’s just eat right? I just eat? Shouldn’t this be easy? And I think that adds a second layer of frustration. So I’m excited for this episode, because we want before we talk about the skills of intuitive eating to prime you with some things you might anticipate as roadblocks based on your family culture based on maybe some of the messages you’ve heard up to this point.
Dalina Soto 02:33
Yes. And I remember once one of my clients said to me, she was like, You know what, I really hate to think of intuitive eating as eat what you want, whenever you want. And I was like, Well, why do you Why do you say that? She’s like, because it’s really not, you know, like a free for all. And she’s like, and that’s what people assume. It’s really more that I’m just like choosing with intent. And I was like, Yes. Like, this is really what it’s all about. It’s not like you’re you know, because I feel like when people assume it’s a eat whatever you want, whenever you want has a bad connotation to it, like, oh, you’re going to be like a horrible person, you know, because you’re just only going to eat Oreo cookies, as opposed to like when you’re really an intuitive eater. Yes, you’re eating what you want. But there’s a reasoning behind it. There’s a bigger picture behind why you’re choosing these foods and it has nothing to do with fear.
Melissa Landry 03:27
Yeah, yeah, it’s so true. Because a lot of our diet mindset or diet style eating is reactionary. It’s like I’m afraid of eating the wrong thing. So I’ll eat this or I’m afraid of overeating so I’ll behave like this and do portion containers and all this stuff. So
Dalina Soto 03:43
are the idea of Go big or go home?
Melissa Landry 03:46
In what way What do you mean by that?
Dalina Soto 03:48
Like go big and have the supersized probably only wanted right maybe the medium or even the small
Melissa Landry 03:55
last supper? Got it? Yeah,
Dalina Soto 03:57
like but even all with the money. I might as well get my money’s worth. Good one. Good one. Yeah. And that’s something that’s so big in American culture, which is not big in other cultures. A lot of other cultures are just like yeah, whatever you know, this is what you get. But in America we’re like no, go big get supersize. You got to have it love it can live without it. I don’t know making that one up. what’s what’s the cold stone thing I forgot?
Melissa Landry 04:25
I don’t know. I feel like that was like some McDonald’s and cold stone marketing like put into a blender. I really got a cold. So we go to our local, small, medium large. At any rate, this is why I love listening to you because I think like you have such a strong lens on like, well, how when we when we learn intuitive eating, how does that like filter through someone’s culture and like that might distort the message a little bit or it might might mean that someone might want to consider things differently. So we’re going to kind of go through this we kind of thought through some key points we wanted you to learn about as you’re listening And the first one is standard nutrition advice that we get from the government from school, I would actually lump in probably diet culture messages that maybe aren’t always rooted in science but feel like truth because it’s so commonly repeated. What’s your take on like, standard nutrition advice? To me, I think of like that stupid my plate with like, half the plate fruit and vegetable, quarter plate protein, plate green, I think of the food pyramid before that was a hot mess parade. How do you think that that makes it more complicated for people to become intuitive eaters knowing that the back of their mind? Yeah, I
Dalina Soto 05:44
think that and I say this a lot on Instagram. And I feel like I’m gonna sound like a broken record, you have all heard me say this. But it’s like the people that created the USDA guidelines, even the people in the rooms that were probably creating my plate, they were looking at it from a very, like individualistic American view, not from a place of like, Oh, you know, the United States is a melting pot, and there’s so many different foods that can you know, fall into these categories. And maybe people don’t set up their plate like this. Because they’ve never truly stepped foot in our countries, right? There’s so many people that are first and second generation, right now consuming this information. And that’s not how we grew up. Eat it. Right, right. And so this idea of creating a plate, I think came from a good place. And I don’t think they thought it all the way through to the cultural aspect. Because so many of us, and I’m seeing us as like, you know, first gen second gen people that don’t really see themselves as full Americans, because we have a whole nother culture to think of when we make decisions and choices. We don’t eat that way. Like my food is all on top of each other. Okay, like, I don’t separate food. I know that there’s people that like that, but I’m like, it’s all going to the same place. I’m gonna just put it all on.
Melissa Landry 07:09
Yeah, I would say a lot of folks and cultures even maybe not explicit to their culture, that might be their tendency or their preference. Yeah. So it’s a major like gap when we’re saying, Oh, I hope intuitive eating helps me eat in such a way like it made him look like the MyPlate. The way they create the MyPlate is by doing surveys of what people are eating, and figuring out what nutrition is needed. And that is an important first step. But like you’re saying that educational tool doesn’t really resonate? And
Dalina Soto 07:44
it’s a lot I mean, to your point, you know, and I sorry, I’m sorry to cut you off. It’s okay. You get excited at that. But to your point, it’s like Who are they taking surveys of people are so immersed in diet culture, right? Yeah, no. It’s people that are probably diet gurus, and like they’ve tried ever died in the book. And so they want to please the surveyors by saying, well, this is how you eat healthy. Yeah.
Melissa Landry 08:13
Yeah, is a bias because I think, yeah, we don’t really use that it’s a it’s like a anonymous sample, or whatever. But the bias is definitely there where people are trying to say certain things. And so like, nutrition, in general, is flawed in this way. And so that’s why it’s really important for you as you go into intuitive eating to really keep general nutrition in mind, but also try to let it go. Because ultimately, it could serve as a roadblock to you really deciding what you want to eat, you might be trying to eat based on some carbon copy advice he got from a long time ago. So put that down as you go on the journey. So So yeah,
Dalina Soto 08:52
we have to think about it from that perspective. And also, the perspective of these people have never stepped foot in our countries. And if they did, they probably ate at a resort or didn’t have like a complete picture of what our foods actually are, or maybe went to like a local place where they think they’re eating authentic, but they’re not. And that’s what’s like, basically telling them or giving them a picture of what our food looks like, what a reality, like a foods aren’t just like one dish,
Melissa Landry 09:24
your 1,000% right because I’m remembering from like trainings where they’d be like, Okay, we got to get everybody to eat the my plates. So what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna put the beans in the protein corner, and like so they just basically took that paradigm and tried to squeeze other cultures in it, rather than going the other way where maybe there does need to be different types of presentations based on your culture and how you like to eat. So yeah, totally. I
Dalina Soto 09:52
know, but they have the food models.
Melissa Landry 09:53
I know you’ve seen the food bottles for life. I love the food models magazine was my favorite part of my job. Hello. so silly Rochelle. They’re so ridiculous. And the books, these are rubber and you know, but I was like, tell me they’re very triggering, because a lot of times when you go into a weight loss visit, you get these things brought out and they’re very silly. Yeah, they’re rubber foods that we can show that show everybody how they’re supposed to eat, they get so dirty and dingy. It’s not a good look like belva Duff. But all this to say, like, Think for a moment now, because this is why we’re here. We’re trying to help you identify what’s rattling around in your head that might be like a sneaky food rule at a food rule is any pre prescribed way of saying what, when and how much you’re going to eat. Standard nutrition advice that you’ve seen over the years, may not represent your culture, it may not represent you. And this is the moment now maybe to take, maybe you want to pause it and think through like, what are some of the little like, I should say around nutrition I learned from places and anything that you see on that list, we were on a challenge over that intuitive eating series we’re going to offer?
Dalina Soto 11:02
Yeah, and it’s like these rules, right? Then infiltrate our families, but then they’re like fighting against our culture. Right? Like, you know, all the messages that I’ve received about you know, how a parent has gone to the doctor’s and it’s diagnosed with diabetes, or heart disease or whatever. And the first thing they say is stop eating fried tortillas. First of all, that everybody eats tortillas, just because they’re looking
Melissa Landry 11:33
awesome, right? Not all folks with heart disease. And not all folks in bigger bodies are eating the types of foods people think so it’s like that, that stigmatizing message that people get, it’s like, oh, if you’re white, I’m gonna say stop eating hamburgers if you’re lucky. I’m gonna start today stop eating fried tortillas. If you’re like, it’s like this racist. Wait, stigmatizing language all in all in one
Dalina Soto 11:57
knock. And then and then you go home and your poor parent or a bolita, whoever it is, is like terrified to eat, terrified. And then I think that that fear based instruction or like fear based information, that’s what I’m thinking of, then backfires. Because I’ve had so many people say, EFF it, that I’m just not gonna do anything. Like, I’m not even gonna care. I’m just gonna eat whatever I want, whenever I want, right? And I’m just gonna, like, leave it in God’s hands. Mm hmm.
Melissa Landry 12:27
Yeah, it can be a lot of morality to around like, choosing nutritious foods within families. So for example, like Be a good girl and eat your vegetables. It can also be used as reward and punishment. You don’t get your dessert until you eat this, quote, good food. And our parents were saying most things, in part from advice they got from our pediatricians or from their doctors, or you know, Women’s World Magazine, or, you know, whatever. Good Housekeeping. Yeah, like, whatever. They were like, Oh, that’s good. And I want to be a good mom, and I want my kids to be good. And I want them to grow up healthy. And so, you know, depending on parenting style, we’re going to good bad. embed that in some way. So yeah, good opportunity right now to say, Okay, I’m a grown ass person, I get to decide what I believe is good and bad in the world. And maybe I don’t need to carry all these standard nutrition recommendations that have been imposed on me over the years and
Dalina Soto 13:26
imposed without my family’s culture and food dynamics. Right looked at right, right for or placed in the context. It’s just assumptions. Yeah, based on, I don’t know what,
Melissa Landry 13:41
yeah, these tools are population health tools, like they’re meant, you know, the more the bigger the audience, the more simple the message has to be. And so, you know, it’s not always going to be right or perfect. And I’m, I’m being critical, but also saying this is a difficult thing to teach the masses in a quick visual, at the same time as individuals remembering that that’s, that’s for the population level. It’s not for you to use a manifesto for your life.
Dalina Soto 14:10
Yeah. And I think it’s important to remember and this is something that I struggle with a lot, being a dietitian and understanding that the science is there. But also understanding that the science in the United States is very white, male dominated. And the research that’s coming out is pretty much looking at one type of person. It’s not very diverse. And then the United States positions themselves as we’re the best. We have all the best scientists and science equipment and we do all the best research, and then infiltrates our countries, where people in those countries scientists in those countries are trying to then mimic the information that’s coming out of the United States, right and implementing it into their countries. And then The the information just gets distorted right in the process where people think that, oh my god, I’m eating horribly, because you know, this research study says this, but the research study wasn’t done in your country. It was done somewhere else. And a perfect example of this is have a Tula now in my group who is from Mexico, and she is a researcher, and Maiko and that’s exactly the issues that she’s dealing with is because a lot of the information that she needs to implement for governmental data is coming from the United States. And they try to replicate it in the US. I mean, in Mexico, and it’s not, it’s not the same thing, right. And so this, this idea of just like, the United States has created that perfectionism idea, and it’s like, we’re the best. We’re the we’re perfect. And now, everybody else has to be just like us, right? Yeah. If you refiguring, the black body, if you haven’t,
Melissa Landry 15:55
mind just said that. That was one of the biggest shifts in her body image work was reading that book. So sidebar, go on and get it. Yes. So we’ve talked a bit about, like, you know, and certainly in other episodes, we’ve talked about this too, how nutrition advice does contain bias, it is then distilled down to public health messages that may or may not always represent an individual scenario. So to recap this, go ahead and figure out what are some of those sneaky food rules that came from those origins that you want to reestablish through the intuitive eating process. So if you know those, you’ll have an easier time of reframing them through the series will offer. The second things we wanted to talk about was how to eat roles. And by this, we meant like what time where, who’s around? Those definitely exist out in the world. For example, we hear a lot I know you talked about this a lot. Or it’s like no eating after x pm. Dinner’s the biggest meal of the day, it shouldn’t be lunch, or you should have five small meals. There’s all these like, rules about like how you’re supposed to eat the food, not just what you’re supposed to eat. How do you see that butting against family cultures and making it hard to be intuitive? Yeah, I
Dalina Soto 17:05
mean, I often think about just the cultural differences country by country in South America, right? Like, I often think about, like the Dominican Republic, breakfast and lunch are the biggest meals. And dinner is just like, literally like bread toast with like cheese, or avocado, avocado toast. That events, you know, but not like the $15 one that you get a brunch here in the US. But like, I also remember growing up and like dinner, like my main meal was 3pm. And I feel like I’ve shared this before, like on the podcast, because my mom would be like you didn’t eat enough school like lunch. It peanut butter and jelly isn’t a meal, right? If you didn’t have rice and beans, it was a meal. So then I would come home and my brothers and I were to eat a full meal
Melissa Landry 17:57
3pm but then dinner was always like
Dalina Soto 18:00
super late, like, honestly, like it was never like this big thing. And then now, I have basically taken more of an American view of food where because I’m working all day when I cook my Dominican foods they’re going to be and then the afternoon for dinner, not for lunch length. My mom usually makes them and my poor kids are like we we just we ate that on my mom’s house.
Melissa Landry 18:26
The Legacy continuous
Dalina Soto 18:27
Oh my God, because they come home. And it’s like rice again. Right? Yeah. And it’s just it’s this idea of like that. I feel like that’s maybe something that that I learned from going to school and and being a dietician this idea that like, I have to come home and cook this big dinner, right? It’s like a very American thing. But when you look at other cultures, and I don’t mind it, like I like having, I mean, obviously, I’m like you Dominican food. So I’m cooking for it for us at dinner. And Brian is also having it at that time, because he’s at work all day, right? It’s very different from like how it is if you live in the Dominican Republic, or if you live in Colombia, or Venezuela or Argentina or any of these countries, right? We’re like, the meal times are different. But then you come to the US and you have to kind of like assimilate to this idea of like dinners at
Melissa Landry 19:20
6pm sharp. Yeah. And then also something else, the whole, like, school and working structure. And I think that that is true for all of us is like the work structure and the demands of work. Do make make it hard to eat sometimes when it is intuitive for you or whether that’s coming from within or if it’s coming from like cultural norms of you wanting to socialize and spend time with people who are also eating. So one of the things that’s important through the intuitive eating process is almost like, again, throwing away the rulebook for a second and saying what would it look like to eat when it’s right for me? And when you say right for me, it could mean your body cues it could mean like, I have these meetings back to back and can’t really during that. So here’s how I’ll approach it.
Dalina Soto 20:07
Yeah, that’s practical, right? That’s that and practical hunger. And understand that everyday could also be different. There’s days that I definitely eat five smaller meals, because I’m grazing, I’m busy, I’m on the go, I don’t have time to sit down and prepare a lunch and a dinner for myself and the kids. And then there’s days where I have three big ass meals, for sure. You know, so it’s understanding that you have to be able to be flexible, with your eating, like, that’s the key that there’s no right or wrong way of doing this. As long as you’re nourishing your body.
Melissa Landry 20:44
I’ll be honest, if that sentence just freaked you out. You’re not alone. Many people who have been dieting for a really long time, when people say something like, throw up, I’m going to throw out the rulebook, or you’re saying there’s no right or wrong? Look, if you’re going like, okay, crazy, Lord, that is such a normal response. Because for so long, we’ve been told there is one right way of eating. And that is why we’re talking about this all day is we want to prime you and have you kind of have that feeling now, so that when we go through the intuitive eating series, you can actually focus on the learning and not on the fear of what the intuitive eating process is going to mean for you. So it’s an all feel a frame. Remember, this is a stepwise approach, today is just about looking at what are some of the food rules you learned. And we started with what you’re eating, and we talked about how you’re eating, like the timing, and where and all that. The other thing that’s gonna come up folks show up is you are going to start to learn your needs in a very real way through this intuitive eating process. And that might conflict with what other people expect of you, or what other people used to see you do or what other people want you to do. And you know, prior to recording this, Lena and I were just chatting like, not all families are open to the boundary setting process. You told me an interesting fun fact about the Spanish language. Do you want to share that because I was blown away? No word for boundary.
Dalina Soto 22:13
I mean, there is a word for boundaries, that’s a thing, but it doesn’t translate when like when you Google boundaries in Spanish, it’s going to say limit this it’s a it’s a limit. They’re like it’s a boundary, right, like a limit. But it’s in the like more of a territory. like looking at countries and borders, you’re gonna say eating meat this right? It’s, it’s that way of thinking. But then also, when people have started translating texts from English into Spanish, they have adopted the word limited as a way of saying boundaries. But the issue is you try saying that to a Latino mom. They’re gonna look at you like you have 17 hats, like, What do you mean, you’re putting a limiter right now like that it does not translate correctly. And it’s really hard to set boundaries,
Melissa Landry 23:11
when you don’t even have a word for Yeah, that’s going to translate correctly for your 75 year old grandmother to understand, right. And so the strategies someone would use in a family that’s more like collectivist or like a group is more important than the individuals that your strategies for like communicating this and ensuring you’re, you’re feeling safe and secure to practice meeting your needs are gonna look different than than a family who really believes in individualism. And yeah, and it’s kind of like, Okay, this makes sense. This is within the language of our family. And I would, I would say, working with clients, there are definitely families all across that spectrum. Like one of my recent group clients worked really hard. She was from Columbia and was like, trying to work on that balance for herself. It’s not an easy one. And so that’s another thing just to kind of let everyone know, like, it’s okay, if this feels hard to communicate with the people in your life. Step one is to figure out what you need. And then step two is to figure out how to communicate mm.
Dalina Soto 24:13
doesn’t always have to be I feel like it doesn’t have to be called a boundary. I think that’s something else that we fall into. Like, there has to be a word there has to be a way it has to be rigid. So yeah, that’s that’s also falling into perfectionism. patriarchy, diet culture, hairy ideas, right? You’re allowed to just say how you feel. It doesn’t have to be a boundary. Yeah, that could be called the boundary. Yeah, it could just be like, Mom, this is how I feel.
Melissa Landry 24:40
Yeah, that’s good advice. A lot of people kind of get ready for battle. Like, they’re like, I’m gonna figure out my need, and then I’m gonna tell them to they don’t do it. I will attack it. I think that’s a normal place to come from. I’ve been steamrolled your whole life. I mean, I’ve been there before with family guys. Like it’s not easy to feel like you’re going to be dismissed. Yeah. So, again, think of intuited this process as we go through it as an opportunity for you to define what it is that you want, then you can take the problem solving approach and figure out the steps to get there. But exactly one step at a time is always the key as we learned. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I hope this helped folks maybe identify some food rules around standard nutrition advice. They heard, like expectations around health that they might have heard expectations of when and where to eat. And also maybe you’ve identified if your family is more like individualistic, like they’re okay with everybody doing their own thing communicating, or are they more collectivist? They really see the group as the most important thing, and they want adherence to that group over everything. That will be a great takeaway from this episode, if you can start to think of those three things. And we’ll have your back when we start the IE series in a few weeks.
Dalina Soto 26:01
Yeah. And just like writing them down, right? Like, what are these roadblocks that you’re feeling about these topics that we hit and kind of like simmering through it and figuring out how it feels right? Because intuitive eating is not as intuitive as
Melissa Landry 26:19
the outcome is intuitive? Yes, the outcome is feeling into it is intuitive once once you once you’re in debt, and it becomes an effortless automatic. Basically, you’re responding to your own signals. It’s
Dalina Soto 26:31
been a way to live, but at the beginning, it does not feel that way at all.
Melissa Landry 26:36
We’re hoping to make that a little lighter, a little doormat to make it a little more clear. So yes,
Dalina Soto 26:41
that was today’s episode. We’d love, love, love a review from you wherever you found this podcast so that we can help women like you looking to hear their relationship with food,
Melissa Landry 26:53
find our show, not to be to ask you here, but we haven’t had a review in a short while and I don’t know why everyone’s being shy. Don’t be shy. I heard that these reviews do help us get found. And that is super important to us in our mission. So if you don’t mind, give us five stars. Write something you liked. Maybe you’ll tell us your favorite episode. Or you could tell a friend about our podcast. I hear that all the time my friend directed me to this pod. Man, I’ve been listening. So go ahead and tell your friends. We’d love for you to help us spread our message. Until next time, we’ll see you out there on Instagram just like Lena and I found each other. Thanks for being here with us and being who you are. Peace, love and break the diet cycle.
