Melissa: We are experts in intuitive eating for on again, off again chronic dieters. And we are here to help you take the guilt and stress out of eating so you can become the first in your family to break the diet cycle just like we are in our families.
Dalina: We want you to be who you are without food guilt.
Melissa: Be sure to follow us on Instagram, No more guilt for Melissa and Your Latina Nutritionist, for Dalina.
Dalina: Are you ready? Let’s break the diet cycle. Hola Hola Chula!
Melissa: Hi there.
Dalina: Melissa, here we are episode seven and our episode today is called, Why Am I Obsessed With Food? So, what do you think? What do you think about this topic?
Melissa: It is a question on many women’s minds that we talk to and sometimes we almost get a little jokey about it. Like, Oh my God, I’m obsessed with food.
Dalina: I know.
Melissa: We can make it feel, I don’t know, like a flaw or a burden. We can bond over that. And sometimes, that does keep clients stuck because the dieting is often what’s causing the obsession with the food and then they’re obsessed with the diets. And so I’m excited to talk about this, because I think it’s something we kind of laugh off, but it can be understood and it can be worked with. So, that’s what I’m excited about today.
Dalina: Yeah, and I think it’s also funny because I’ll find myself saying, Oh my God, this is so addictive, right, when something tastes really good. And then I’ve been having to train my brain again, like you know what Dalina, do not use those words because they can insinuate that there’s something wrong with something tasting good and you wanted to eat more of it than the quote unquote serving size. So yeah, so I think I want to start off really discussing, is it really an obsession, right? Because again, we’re using these words because society has implicated some tool of morality with food and we use things like sinfully good, delightfully, good. And then like bad, don’t have that. And so again, is it really an obsession or are you just hungry?
Melissa: Do we say we’re so obsessed with air? No, we just enjoy breathing and walking around. And so I think, yeah, it’s so true. We’ve moralized it and made it feel like it’s taboo or scandalous to take joy in food. And maybe we can explore that type of experience versus when it does feel like it’s maybe more disruptive to your life, that when people tell us a lot about losing control around food or binge eating, that’s a different reason we can say, I feel quote, “obsessed with food.”
Dalina: Yeah.
Melissa: So, it might be good to look at it from the point of view of joy and satisfaction and hunger being normalized. And also from the point of view of, when is it not feeling joyful and it’s helpful.
Dalina: Yes. And I think that it’s also important to eventually define what a binge really is, right? Because a lot of people think that they’re binging and this is an actual disorder, but what we sometimes think is a binge, could be just normal eating because you’re hungry.
Melissa: Right.
Dalina: And so, it’s important to kind of differentiate both. And so another thing is, we tend to become obsessed with food and thinking about food all the time when we’re hungry. So my question to most of my clients is, well, is it time to eat? Is it that time of day where you’re usually hungry and maybe you’re just taking too long to eat so your body’s trying to tell you, hey, it’s time to eat. And did you eat enough at the last meal or at the last snack? Because your body is going to tell you that you’re hungry and it doesn’t mean that you’re obsessed with food because you just ate a few hours ago and then are hungry again. I think these are things you have to start questioning and challenging these thoughts, because it’s totally normal to be hungry. It does not mean you’re obsessed with food. It means you’re alive.
Melissa: It makes me feel sad we have to say it. It makes me feel sad that we have to say it’s normal to be hungry. And how so many people, when they start our programs feel frustration. Like, this is duh, so easy. Hunger, fullness, why don’t I know this? They actually start to beat themselves up for not knowing it. But, I think you’re bringing up such a good point that our culture sets it up, that we almost silence it. It’s taboo to have it. We can’t even explain how it feels sometimes. We can’t always articulate it. One of the signs of hunger is thinking about food. That surprises so many people, right? It’s not always a physical sensation. Sometimes it’s a mental sensation and yeah, good on our brains, because we wouldn’t follow through. If we didn’t think about it, we wouldn’t follow through. And so, it’s part of it, right? Thinking about food is part of the experience of responding to hunger.
Dalina: Absolutely. And so let’s talk about, and I think that’s great that you brought that up because I was going to talk about the definition of hunger. And like you said, first, sometimes the thoughts about food come up like, Oh, I know it’s almost lunchtime. What do I want? Right? Kind of those kinds of thoughts. But hunger, if we want to look at it from a definition point of view is the uneasy or painful sensation caused by wanting food. And I think when I saw this definition, I was like, Oh wait, I’m thinking of the hunger scale here, because when you actually are hungry, you’ve probably waited too long to eat. And that’s why it could become painful or uneasy in your thoughts constantly going to food because your body’s trying to tell you something. And how else are you going to know if you’re hungry, if you’re not going to have sensations, right? Either pain or feeling uneasy or thoughts about food, this is your body’s very smart way of telling you, hello, you need to eat.
Melissa: Yes. It is time. It is time. Yeah and just for some of the listeners out there, the questions that sometimes we hear is, how do I stop cravings? How do I make it so I’m not hungry all the time? Respectfully, the answer is you don’t, right? You actually become more attuned to listening to when those signals come up. We also work with clients on a strategy called honoring practical hunger, which means using your wisdom and what you know about your needs to define a pattern of eating that works best for you. It’s more of a higher level, intuitive eating skill, but down the line, what Dalina’s saying makes total sense to me and my practice too, that we do want to not fear it and we maybe want to anticipate it before it gets painful.
Dalina: Yes. And I think Melissa, if you want to touch upon a little bit on what primal hunger is, because this is something that I’ve been seeing a lot on social media. A lot of people are posting about primal hunger. And a lot of people are like, what the heck is that? Is this a different type of hunger? And I think that it flows perfectly with why we feel like we’re quote, unquote, obsessed with food.
Melissa: Yeah. So this theory comes from the idea that we have minimum basic needs around nutrition and fuel and specifically around intake of carbohydrates. So if we are consistently under eating or eating unpredictably, the body starts to get wise to what’s happening and it can start to override it. It creates a learned response to that restriction that it’s almost like someone took you over for a second, right? We’ve all had that feeling before we looked down at a box of crackers. You’re like, who took, where did they go? Right. So that if you have that feeling a lot where you feel loss of control, you’re looking down at your plate and you’re uncertain how much you ate or you’re surprised by how much you ate, maybe the end, the outcome of responding to primal hunger is you feel very uncomfortable in your body. Maybe overshot it a little bit. This is more of a triggered response from our ancestors that help us not starve. So is that how you think about it when you describe primal hunger?
Dalina: I do. I do. And this is why I also wanted to discuss the word binge, because a lot of people will then associate what just happened in a primal hunger situation as a binge. And it’s not. That’s not quite the definition of a binge. Just because you ate your whole plate does not mean that you’ve binged.
Melissa: Right.
Dalina: And so, it’s important to differentiate those two, because again, they’re used, binges, I feel like the word binge is thrown around very easily. And so for me, I think understanding primal hunger and having my clients understand primal hunger, that involuntary, right, because sometimes it’s so involuntary that you will just finish your whole plate because you got to the point where your body had to respond in one way or another, because you either have been restricting for too long or just not honoring your hunger.
Melissa: Right.
Dalina: It’s not a bad thing. And I think that’s one thing that we need to understand. It’s not bad to eat your whole plate. It’s not bad to sometimes eat past the point of being full. And I think you listened to the same podcast that I listened to where Evelyn was on and she discussed the new book and she also discussed having one particular client who was a teenager who would always eat past the point of being satisfied. And she asked him, “Why do you do this?” And she says something, or he said something along the lines of, “Well, it tastes so good. I just don’t want that experience to be over.”
Melissa: Yeah.
Dalina: And I think that’s important to understand, that although we talk about a hunger scale, which can very much be turned into a diet, we need to understand that eating and having a good relationship with food is so much more than just stopping when you’re full and eating when you’re hungry. It’s being in tune with your body, like you said earlier, and knowing that sometimes reaching that point of satisfaction might be a little bit past the fullness point. And that doesn’t mean that you’re obsessed with food. And it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It just means that you fricking enjoyed the meal.
Melissa: Right.
Dalina: And you just wanted to have a little bit more.
Melissa: Yeah. Yeah. The hunger and the fullness go hand in hand, right?
Dalina: Yes.
Melissa: And so, having that really objective view on it and saying, “Look, if I’m at the point where I’m consistently under eating, I’m consistently restricting or having unpredictable access to food, I’m more likely to be in a primal hunger part of my hunger.” Right? It’s going to be bigger. And if we think of that, like the air analogy, Evelyn Tribole, one of the authors of, Intuitive Eating also talks about this a lot, which is if we were to hold our breath for a very long time, right, how long can you hold your breath?
Dalina: I don’t know.
Melissa: I can go 20 seconds before I start to panic.
Dalina: I’ve never counted.
Melissa: But, if you try to hold your breath, the very first breath you take, isn’t going to be this delicate, ah, right? You’re going to go… And it’s going to be a big breath of air, because you’re making up for air lost. And that’s the same way that the hunger might work. And so if you know in your mind’s eye, look, I might be under eating, I’m not eating regularly, it’s your responsibility. It’s your job to say, okay, this makes sense. This makes sense that I ate a very big meal. That’s different from maybe feeling your fullness and then saying, “Oh, I want more because it tastes good. I’m going to continue.” Both of these things are not necessarily considered binges, right? So just being careful not to pathologize or turn you into a flawed being. Or, these things, if you can understand the origin, that’s super powerful to help you to have a better relationship with hunger.
Dalina: Yes. And would help and I think essentially because of this topic that we’re talking about, it’ll help you understand that you’re not truly obsessed with food, right? That you’re truly just being a human and it’s natural and normal to have different feelings of hunger per every meal, or even, day to day basis. Your hunger isn’t always going to be the same every day. And so, again, you’re not obsessed with food because one day you’re hungrier then you were the previous day. And I think again, diet culture has conditioned us to think that we need to eat the same exact measured amounts every single day for the rest of your life. And what fun is in that?
Melissa: Yeah.
Dalina: What fun is in that?
Melissa: And beyond it not being fun, what backfiring is in that when you do that? On my applications for program, one of the phrases I always see is, “I can’t stop thinking about food.” When I ask people, “What are your top three problems?” I always see here, I can’t stop thinking about food. And my little antennas are going up, always like, okay, this might be a problem of not eating enough.
Dalina: Enough.
Melissa: And if you’re not eating enough, it’s really hard to then go onto these other elements or aspects in your relationship with food.
Dalina: So yes, yes. And I had someone comment on one of my posts this week that discussed just that. She said for the longest time she thought she had an addiction to food and she went to a therapist and she went to a bunch of different types of NutriPaths and tried to figure out what her problem was. Why was she so obsessed with food? And then she started working with an intuitive eating provider and realized that what was wrong the whole time was she wasn’t eating enough. She just was not allowing herself to really nourish her body, which then caused her body to go into this primal need and only think about food all the time.
Melissa: I wish our audience was with us right now, because I can almost feel them in the future kind of tightening up because it’s such an uncomfortable message when you’ve been dieting for so long. People have such a hard time believing that they’re not eating enough. Because for so long, they’ve been trying to eat less. The assumption is that they’re eating too much. So if you are listening to this and going, what the hell are these two talking about right now? That’s a normal experience after you’ve been dieting for so long. So I just want to honor that, if this is a new message for you, I get it.
Dalina: Yes. So pretty much we have to stop with the black and white thinking. Hunger is fluid. I love using the word fluid because it just means it’s moving. And I wish everybody could see us dancing on the screen right now.
Melissa: Keeping it fluid.
Dalina: As we’re saying, keeping it fluid, yes. And to understand that if you feel hungry or you’re thinking about food, you’re not obsessed and it’s okay.
Melissa: It’s like what’s the harm in testing it, right? If you’re not sure if you’re hungry or not, you might just eat to see. You can, if you take that first bite and you’re going, actually, that wasn’t what the doctor ordered, go ahead and do something else, right? You can always stop eating once you start, but maybe it’s worth experimenting on that.
Dalina: Yes. And please don’t do the whole drink a cup of water because thirst is being… Felt like hunger. No, that’s not true. When you drink a cup of water, you’re expanding your stomach and it’s just telling your stomach that something’s in there. But it has nothing, zero calories, no substance. So you’re going to get hungrier faster later.
Melissa: Did you listened to Jess and Wendy from Food Heaven’s podcast about hydration?
Dalina: I did not. Not yet.
Melissa: All of you please search for this podcast, find this episode. It’s all about the research of hydration and how we really don’t have very much of it to even… So, just a sidebar, if you’re interested, in looking up-
Dalina: We love Wendy and Jess, FYI.
Melissa: So that whole water trick is not founded in research. It’s a little bit on the disordered side because we’re trying to confuse our body from a signal that is coming from a place of need. So that’s a really good point.
Dalina: Yes. I just had to throw that in there because it’s something I see a lot and it pisses me off. I get really angry-
Melissa: She has feelings.
Dalina: I do. My feelings are all shown in my face and sometimes I’m scrolling through the IG and I’m like, Oh my God.
Melissa: You’re a woman of passion.
Dalina: That’s for sure. That is for sure.
Melissa: All right, what’s our next tip?
Dalina: What’s next? What’s next? Okay, Melissa, why do we crave?
Melissa: A couple of reasons I think. And I think sometimes it’s worth exploring your emotional relationship with food, as well as the hunger based relationship with food. And oftentimes, what we’re doing in coaching sessions is helping people tease out how much of this craving is coming from emotional hunger and a need to soothe and feel better and how much of it is coming from biological hunger, or just a need for nutrition and nourishment. Either way, it’s coming from a need. And so that’s why, coming back to an earlier comment on this episode today, the idea of how do I stop cravings, try to change that language in your mind, right?
Melissa: You don’t want to stop cravings because they’re telling us about a need. And instead say, what is this craving trying to tell me? Is this a biological need? Is this an emotional need? And then from there, you don’t have to judge your choice in what you do with that craving, right? Food may be what you want. Last night, I had a big bowl of mint chip ice cream. I had a very stressful day and that’s exactly what I wanted to choose. Another day, I might choose a walk or meditation, and we really try to see those things as equal in our practice.
Dalina: Awesome. Yeah. So I think for our listeners, I get this whole question, a lot of like, what is truly an emotional, like what is emotional hunger, right? If you can say that, maybe in a sentence, how would you describe it?
Melissa: I would say it’s a desire for food based in a feeling, an emotional feeling. So it might be [crosstalk 00:19:04] Yeah, yeah, was it good?
Dalina: Yeah.
Melissa: You put me on the spot you guys. We did not prep for this episode. I’m like, Oh, here we go. Yeah. Well, I think that does do a nice job because it also talks about positive emotion. When we’re celebrating and we feel good, food can enhance that feeling and make it last longer, right? When you’re with your girlfriends, you have a dinner, do you want to go for one more drink? Maybe you’re not wanting a drink, but going for that drink or should we get a dessert adding that in, is it coming from your body needing food? It’s because you want to maintain the moment.
Dalina: So yes, yes. And so again, you’re not obsessed with food for doing that. You’re just being a human. And I think I always talk about emotional connections with food. And I always talk about your Abuela’s cooking or your mommy’s cooking, how sometimes you sit down and you have this dish and it brings you back and it hits the spot. And sometimes when you’re feeling sad, you want that feeling again, right? And so having that dish makes you feel better, because it brings back that sense of caring that your [Spanish 00:20:11] or your mommy or your [Spanish 00:20:13], or whoever was a cook gave to you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. So again, it’s not an obsession, it’s just being human and needing that connection. And I think that’s super important to point out. So Melissa, any closing tips that you might have?
Melissa: Yeah. This idea of silencing our needs just came up for some reason. And I know we’ve talked about this in past episodes, but I think I’m just thinking, why do we talk like this? This idea that we’re obsessed with food as you and I are talking here, it’s so clear to me it’s not an obsession. It’s so clear to me that there are real reasons why we desire food. It’s normal and beneficial to our experience here. I think what can come up for people is that we forget that we deserve to have our needs met. It’s very easy to say, well, there must be something wrong with me for needing and wanting. So just to challenge that idea a little bit, that you are someone who is worth your needs and wants in whatever way you choose to express them. And I hope today’s episode helps some of you to be able to do that a little bit better.
Dalina: Yes. Yes. I agree with that. And I am so happy that you brought up some of these points, because it’s important to one, eat adequately, two, honor those feelings and three, not to be so hard on yourself. I think that would sum up kind of this conversation that we’ve had today.
Melissa: We could have had a thirty second podcast, brilliant tie up there. We could have just done, just that little snippet. I hope you all found value in the previous twenty minutes, but I love that takeaway.
Dalina: So that was today’s episode. We’d love for you to review it wherever you found this podcast so you can help other women like you looking to heal their relationship with food find our show.
Melissa: And if you need more support, remember Dalina and I both offer programs for women who want to break the diet cycle for themselves and their families just like we are. We hope to see you on Insta. You can follow me Melissa at No More Guilt.
Dalina: And me, Dalina, at Your Latina Nutritionist.
Melissa: All right, we’ll see you on there just like we found each other Dalina. Thanks for being here with us and being who you are.
Dalina: Peace, love and break the diet cycle.
