Why Secret Eating Happens and How to Address It
Written by Isabel Vasquez RD, LDN
Eating can be a great way to connect with others, while eating in secret can be a sign of a disordered relationship with food. It may be a sign of shame or fear of judgment about your food choices. Sometimes, it can even be a sign of an eating disorder.
Learn what secret eating is, what causes it, and how to overcome it.
What Is Secret Eating?
Secret eating is an attempt to hide yourself while you eat or conceal evidence of what you’ve eaten. It could look like hiding food wrappers, sneaking into the kitchen late at night for a snack when you think no one else is up, or bringing a meal to your room in hopes that others won’t see.
Research has found that it’s somewhat common amongst kids and teens, but newer research is examining secret eating in adults, too.
Secret eating vs. binge eating
Sometimes, people think secret eating and binge eating are the same, but they are not.
Binge eating happens when you eat a large amount of food very quickly and feel out of control during the episode, per the NIH. To be diagnosed with binge eating disorder (BED), there’s additional criteria, including a specific frequency of binge eating.
Eating in secret due to embarrassment is one potential component of binge eating disorder, per the DSM, but it does not have to be present for someone to be diagnosed with BED.
What Causes Secret Eating?
Some people hide when they eat because of shame, a disordered relationship with food, fear of judgment, or challenging emotions. We’ll dive into each of these potential causes below.
Disordered relationship with food
Oftentimes, people eat certain foods in secret because they consider them “unhealthy” or “junk food”.
If you find yourself eating in secret, it could be because there is shame around eating these foods (which we’ll get to soon) because you’ve labeled them as “bad”. You may have even internalized diet culture messaging implying that you’re bad for eating these foods.
Secret eating could also happen if you restrict food and then get the urge to binge eat (we call this the binge-restrict cycle). You may choose to hide your intake if you don’t want others to see ravenous hunger strike.
Labeling foods as “bad” or restricting food and then binge eating are signs of a disordered relationship with food that could cause secret eating.
Related: Take the Your Latina Nutrition Food Freedom Quiz!
Shame
Brené Brown, a renowned researcher who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”
Secret eating is almost always linked to shame. Most people choose to eat in secret because of feelings of shame over what or how much they’re eating.
This could be related to dieting, body image issues, or judgmental comments from others.
Fear of judgment
If people you live with make frequent comments on your eating habits or weight, it makes sense you’d want to avoid eating with them. Sometimes, that avoidance can turn into secret eating.
Even if the people in your life right now don’t make comments on your eating habits, you may still fear judgmental comments if you grew up with your parents or other loved ones being very critical of your eating habits and your body.
It may lead you to fear judgment from loved ones and strangers alike, which could cause secret eating.
Challenging emotions
Secret eating may be used to cope with challenging emotions or a perceived lack of control.
A 2024 study in The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease found a big overlap between secret eating and depression. So did a 2019 study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders. That doesn’t necessarily mean that depression causes secret eating, but it’s interesting to see the overlap.
Eating disorders
As we mentioned above, in some cases, secret eating can be related to an eating disorder. It’s most often associated with BED.
A 2019 study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders found that over half of the 755 study participants with BED reported secret eating distinct from binge eating episodes. So, secret eating appears to happen often amongst those with BED even outside of objective binge eating episodes.
Interestingly, a 2019 study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders found that secret eating is also quite common amongst people who’ve undergone bariatric surgery and feel a loss of control around food. An estimated 37% of the 168 patients in the study reported secret eating and over half met criteria for BED.
How To Overcome Secret Eating
Practice self-compassion
Since shame is often at the heart of secret eating, it’s important to be compassionate towards yourself. Validate your emotions and be kind towards yourself for your struggles. Eating in secret doesn’t mean you are flawed.
Practicing self-compassion allows you to take steps towards addressing secret eating from a place of self-kindness rather than criticism.
Find supportive people to eat with
If you’re eating in secret out of fear of unwelcome comments, find support people you trust. Eating with these people can help restore your ability to eat with others and rebuild confidence in your food choices.
Plus, these people can offer community and connection (things your feelings of shame may tell you you’re unworthy of). So, this can help counter feelings of shame.
Make peace with food
One of the best things you can do to overcome secret eating is to make peace with food. Secret eating can often happen due to feelings of shame over the foods you’re eating or the amount of food you’re eating.
Whether that’s due to binge eating or a poor relationship with food with no binge eating, it’s worth working towards a better relationship with food.
Our blog post on how to stop fearing your favorite foods is a good place to start.
We also recommend learning more about intuitive eating—a framework for improving your relationship to food and your body—here.
Work with a registered dietitian
A weight-inclusive registered dietitian well-versed in intuitive eating can support you in improving your relationship with food, breaking the binge-restrict cycle, and fostering a positive body image to overcome secret eating.
Here at Your Latina Nutrition, we have a team of weight-inclusive, anti-diet Latina dietitians in-network with many insurance providers. Learn more about working with us through your insurance here.
Final Thoughts
Secret eating can be distressing, but there are ways to overcome it. Since it’s often rooted in shame, practice self-compassion and work on improving your relationship with food.
In some cases, it can be a sign of binge eating disorder; if you think you may be at risk for an eating disorder, you can find ways to seek support here.
For education on how to ADD nutrition to your favorite Latine cultural dishes, make peace with food, and focus on your health without dieting, join our nutrition library for just $27/month.
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